Reflection Comes from Inside, Not From Others

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“Confessions to a Moonless Sky” is a meditation on the brand new moon and guilt. I wrote it once I was residing in Dallas and was driving again from a dusk prayer. The brand new moon terrified me on that drive. I used to be diseased by the data that my accomplice, on the time, had seen the worst components of me. There’s immense disgrace on this piece–it seized my self-image. If the moon might change into model new, then I might begin over.

I typically ponder on the moon’s reflective nature and pairs of eyes. I’m hyper-fixated in how I’m seen in others. Sadly, the brilliance of seeing your reflection in one other particular person results in negativity. In any case, those that are too eager of their very own reflection are the identical individuals who endure from it. It’s doable to make use of disgrace to gasoline one’s retribution and private progress, with out turning into consumed by it.

We will look to Shah Rukh Khan succumbing to alcoholism in his personal sorrow after which later imbibing his disappointment in Chandramukhi. “Confessions to a Moonless Sky” is a lesson for us: don’t be Shah Rukh Khan in Devdas, as an alternative embody pre-incarnation Shah Rukh Khan in Om Shanti Om!

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Confessions to a Moonless Sky

Generally when the moon abandons the sky, I ponder if I drove her away.

If she comes again, will she be the identical? How I want she would come again new, actually new! That means she’d don’t have any reminiscence of the sin I’ve confessed to her. You noxious insect. Sin loving, ego imbibing pest. You’re no monster, for not less than a monster has ideology, it sins with objective. You sin simply to chase ignominy.

However the moon received’t say that, she by no means does. She’ll simply depart the sky and return days later, slowly. And I’ll marvel if she’s new, maybe she received’t bear in mind my previous confessions. What does it matter? Have been the moon changed with one from a distinct god, I’d drive her away, too.

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Umrao Shaan

Umrao Shaan is a brief storyist, poet, and ghazals singer. You’ll find his songs on his Instagram. His different work has been shared on stage.